


If I Had You

by neonnex



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec POV, Canon Compliant, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mild Language, Pre-Slash, although it's not explicitly touched upon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6136573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonnex/pseuds/neonnex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stay for just one more drink? And then decide.” That had been the plan.</p><p>That's not what happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Had You

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [ this](http://bilesandthesourwolf.tumblr.com/post/139882342034/what-if-alec-gets-drunk-at-magnuss-and-hes-a) and had to write about it. It’s not exactly how they wanted the scene to go (it took a life of its own and just didn’t work out that way while I was writing it. You know, typical writer stuff) but there are certain elements here and there. It’s also based mostly on the tv series, as I haven’t really gotten into the books yet, so I hope you enjoy it regardless.
> 
> Also, yes: the title for this fic is taken from the Adam Lambert song but despite the cliché, I love it when it comes to these two.
> 
> Now if you’ll excuse me, I plan on finally getting back to writing Carrier now that my writer’s block is gone.
> 
> xx

“Stay for just one more drink? And then decide.”

That had been the plan.

Just one more drink and then Alec would decide…well, whatever it was he needed to decide. To be honest, he isn’t entirely sure anymore because “one more drink” turned into another and then one more and by the Angel, he feels so good right now, so _warm_ , and this couch is actually more comfortable than it looks and Magnus…

Alec’s lips twist into a small smile when he looks up from his third (fourth?) drink to watch Magnus flutter around the bookshelves. Every time Magnus shifts the light catches on the gold patterns of his shirt _just so,_ the swirling patterns drawing his eyes up along his back and towards broad shoulders. Alec can’t look away.

He’s having trouble finding a good reason to.

“I know I have it around here somewhe—…AHA!”

Magnus plucks something off of a shelf and in one fluid motion, spins around on his heels to face him, a triumphant gleam in his eyes and that wonderful little smirk that sets Alec’s heart racing again. Maybe that last drink wasn’t a very good idea after all (although, ever since Clary appeared nothing’s ever gone quite according to plan or even been a good idea to start with so really, this doesn’t even make the Top 5 on the list of things that Alec’s somehow royally fucked up and just... _screw everything_ ) because instead of looking away or getting flustered, Alec actually _laughs_. It’s a short thing, more of a bark than an actual laugh, but it’s surprisingly loud and boisterous because Magnus is just so, well… _Magnus_ and Alec belatedly realizes that _he’s_ what’s been making Alec feel so good. Not the alcohol. Sure, that helped but he can’t even remember the last time he’s laughed out loud like that because no one before has ever given him a reason t—

“Uh, what were you looking for again?” Alec asks, cutting off his own train of thought while shoving them away into the far corners of his mind like he’s done countless times before. He downs the last half of his drink with only a small grimace to try and speed up the process. “It, ah. Had to do with a spider, I think?”

The way Magnus stares at him with such a sudden, sharp, intensity makes Alec’s eyes flit back down to the glass in his hands. For some reason Magnus hasn’t answered yet and Alec tries to remain calm but it’s too quiet now and the thoughts from before are refusing to completely go away and he’s definitely sure now that chugging the rest of that drink was a decidedly Bad Decision because his vision is starting to get fuzzy around the edges and the thoughts are _still trying to come back_ so he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Red looks good on you.”

Which is very much _not_ what he’s going for.

“I, uh, I-I mean not just red. Other colors look good on you too. I mean,” Alec tries his best to steer his words into a different direction. “Y-You’re wearing silver eyeliner.” What. No. Talk about something else. “How does that even work?” Alec flinches at the implication. “T-That’s not what I meant. I just. Shit. Do you look good no matter what you wear?” How the glass hasn’t shattered yet in his grip is beyond him. “That’s to say, I—”

Alec startles when warm hands suddenly envelope his own and he glances up to see Magnus bent down in front of him, somehow looking entirely regal even while resting his weight on the balls of his feet.

He honestly expects a flippant sort of response or maybe a more cutting remark on Alec’s incessant (and inadvertently insulting) rambling and he finds that he _dreads_ that. Doesn’t want Magnus to see him as not being good enough either because no matter how hard he reminds himself that they’re good now, Jace’s words had reopened old wounds.

“Let me get you some water,” Magnus says instead, and Alec can only gape at him when he removes the glass from his hands with a gentleness that hurts as much as it feels good.

“You’re not mad.” A statement, not a question.

Magnus’s smile is almost sad.

“Alexander. Why on earth would I be mad at you?”

Before Alec can even think of a response, Magnus is standing back up, waving his free hand around with an exaggerated flick of his wrist as he heads off to what Alec assumes is the kitchen.

“I still can’t believe you’ve never even heard of him! Let alone read the comics. It’s a tragedy is what it is. Just what do you _do_ in your spare time?” Alec opens his mouth but Magnus effectively cuts him off, even though he’s calling out from a different room now. “No, no! Don’t answer that. Let me just imagine for a bit longer.”

Alec has so many things he wants to get out though, most of which he isn’t entirely sure _what_ he wants to get out except to say that he’s sorry ( _why_ he’s not entirely sure anymore; it feels like there’s so many reasons to be lately), but then Magnus is back in sight and walking towards him with a tall glass of ice water.

“Oh, and by the way?” That trademark smirk makes its way back onto his face and Alec can’t find anything malicious about it no matter how hard he tries. “I’m flattered that you noticed.”

It feels better than forgiveness and Alec lets out another bark of laughter, the sudden loss of tension in his shoulders making itself known when he slumps back almost dramatically into the couch. The cold dampness of the glass nudges itself against his hand and when he goes to grab a hold of it, it’s _his_ fingers that are wrapping around long, slender ones. The smile Magnus gives him this time is blinding.


End file.
